In these past few days, I received more messages than usual from people who are going through a particularly rough time.
They also shared that it's not only the rough time itself that is weighing on them, but that certain things their well-meaning friends, family members or colleagues say make them feel even worse.
"Everything happens for a reason." "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."
I think we all have heard these sentences at least once in our lives - and in case you've been hanging around in the yoga scene for two decades like I have, you've heard it more often than you can count.
I disagree with this.
Yes, I believe that there is medicine in everything - but certain types or doses of medicine can still harm you (or even kill you).
From poverty to diseases and broken hearts to broken dreams, some “why” or “why me” questions simply don’t have obvious, factual answers. Sometimes, we cannot find a reason for situations that feel like a cruel and unfair joke.
I feel that, when taken to the extreme, the cause-and-effect view of "everything happens for a reason" can be hurtful and harmful. It can be a toxic dose of unhelpful medicine.
Sometimes, there are no magic answers, no easy-to-see reasons.
And it is particularly in those moments that we need to feel seen, to feel held.
We don’t want to bypass all of the pain that someone’s going through - quite the contrary. When we're hurt, we need someone to sit with us in the midst of all of the messiness. We need to know that we’re not alone.
Whatever it is you're facing these days - no matter if the challenges in your life are big and scary at the moment, or like small waves in the ocean - may you feel seen, held, and not alone.
If you feel that you'd like to have someone sit with you in the midst of all the messiness, feel free to reach out. I'm here.
Irina emits a healing energy that just feels good to be with. Each time we've met, I've relaxed into her presence, openness, authenticity and ability to offer support. She has helped me gain the perspective I needed to be more compassionate and gentle with myself. If you're ready to do the hard work of personal growth, I'd highly recommend partnering with Irina.